McGuigan: Why a book on men?
Faludi: The idea emerged out of my frustrations after finishing “Backlash.” While I felt I had documented the evidence of a backlash, I hadn’t grappled with a much thornier question of why. [So] I was initially trying to figure out why so many men are resistant to women’s equality. But as I went along it became clear to me that that was just the outermost layer of a much greater battle that men faced. Ultimately I wanted to do for men with “Stiffed” what I attempted to do for women with “Backlash,” [to show that] these pressures, recriminations and agonies you’re experiencing are not just about you. There’s a whole culture, society and economy that operates on peoples’ lives.
How did your own background play into your ideas?
I grew up in a middle-class suburb in Westchester [County, N.Y.]. My father had a job in the city, a photographer. We saw him in the evenings between dinner and bedtime. In looking back I’m aware of these buried memories of adult men who were almost ghosts in this town. The only authority that they had was the authority of discipline, often physical. I remember a lot of sons in the neighborhood being whipped by their fathers. The kids would say, almost boasting, “Oh, my dad got out the belt.” It’s pretty awful when you think about it.
How did you come up with the title?
I was on a radio talk show in Cleveland, after the Browns picked up and left for Baltimore, and a guy called in and said I should call the book “Stiffed”–or maybe he said “Shafted”–“because that’s how we feel.” I joked about it as a title for a while, but then I really began to like it. It had the connotation of men being cheated, and of working stiffs. Men have been stiffed by the idea that they have to be stiff, armored. Of course, in our sex-driven culture everyone takes another meaning.
What was it like to hang out on a porn-movie set?
As much as my friends were titillated by my visits to porn land, once you get over the shock, it’s no more interesting than being on a regular movie set. Which is to say deadly dull. The truth is sex is mainly interesting when you’re the one involved.
Are the prospects any better for the next generation of men?
The one bright light in this otherwise pretty bleak story is that the younger generation are more open, caring fathers. That’s largely the result of the women’s movement–that men need to have a full life by having a meaningful domestic life. What’s tragic is that the women’s movement is the only movement going counter to the commercial culture that’s saying, “No, your manhood is going to be measured by how much you make, consume and show off.” So young men are torn between the fulfillment of being a caring father and the knowledge that that’s not validated in the culture.
Will some “Backlash” fans think you’re too soft on men?
I see this book as in no way a refutation of feminism but an extension of the principles of feminism to men. There will probably be some grumpiness from those who believe that men are forever the enemy, but that’s pretty much a minority view within feminist circles. Feminism is really much more openhearted.
